Psychosis is Subsiding
2003-03-17, 11:23 a.m.
Psychosis is subsiding...
sliding out the window
like my strain of midnight marionette lovers.
But I'm left with the scars
of the downward spirals...
Kept in check with the
slate grey Depakote,
the white Risperdal canoes,
weekly serum levels,
and the ther-rapists,
thunderstruck. with this. new girl.
who strolled through their double doors
last week.
To the ones who told me I was over.reacting.
that i was just. sad.
that i. didn't need. meds.
Perhaps I never tried to kill you.
or myself in front of you.
or in the bathroom.
while you were watching. mtv. in my living room.
Maybe you never saw the methodical patience
with which I could dissect my shins.
(maybe you did and it scared you. away.)
Or the rationale behind chasing a handful of Darvocet
with a fifth of Smirnoff.
Or maybe. you bailed before it got bad...
because I fucked your girlfriend...
because you didn't know what to say...
because you would trade a good fuck.
for a good friend.
Or maybe your perception of your own problems was far greater.
than my own.
But don't. you. fucking. dare.
come running back now.
I am over. you. past. you. past. that. little girl.
Past the weekly vein searching.
Past the weekend overdoses.
Past the strains of marionette lovers.
Alone. Now.
Rendered Anew. Now.
Alive. Now.
last - next
