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in memory.
March 04, 2005, 3:20 a.m.

Julia Elizabeth Stringer
January 9, 1982 - December 22, 2003

Aqua, indigo, india ink.
Azure, cerulean,
The baby blue of a premature babies butt.

DOUGIE. LOVES. CRAYONS.
Has scrawled his name on every wall
of cottage 13-A -
Big CAPITAL D with a Line after it.

dougie. loves. crayons.

AND even MORE than dougie loves crayons,
Dougie loves his little slice of string
with coke tabs and trinkets tied to it,
swings it around his head and
he is RIDIN' high in the Cheyanne Rodeo.
ye. haw.
He is riding buckin broncs and CALF ROPIN
on his trusty. wheelchair. steed.

And even MORE than dougie loves
his little slice of string with coke tabs
and trinkets tied to it,

dougie. loves. jules.
[all red hair. and hip bones.]
21.996 years of attitude with a twin sister.

Jules. ALWAYS wiped his chin.
Jules. ALWAYS found his favorite blue sweatpants.
And Jules. ALWAYS let dougie tangle his fingers
in the knots of her hair.

Pull. Heeeerrrr... Pull Heeeerrr.

Where is Jules' hair, dougie?

Heeerrr gone. Julsh heerrr gone.

Julia. Elizabeth. Stringer.
January 9, 1982 to December 22, 2003.

I will NEVER get that phone call out of my head.
Twin sister Melly
all red hair and metal.

SHE'S DEAD. RUSS.
SHE'S FUCKING. DEAD. RUSS.

You take the mathematical probability
of 1 drunk motherfucker
plus 1 ran a yellow light
plus 1 jumped the gun
add 1 + 1 + 1
and you. should get. 3.

Three bodies tossed from windows
painting black tar scarlet.
Three families sobbing for lost souls.
But mathematical probabilities don't always
EAKE. OUT. just right.
Take the 3 bodies tossed minus two lucky ASS motherfuckers.
and you get. one. crushed. Jules.
all red hair. and hip bones.
You get 8,000 frantic phone calls from twin sister melly
1 family 1 member down
and 16 RETARDS
at the Oakwood Community for the Mentally Challenged
LICKIN THE WALLPAPER
and PULLIN on each other's tongues
being shipped off to group homes
because. there is no one. left. to take care of them.

Where's Jules, dougie?
Julsh herrr gone. Julsh... herrr gone.

Dougie.
I am so sorry that there is no one left
to wipe your chin and find
your favorite. blue. sweatpants.

And. Melly.
I can't even find the words
to say that I am so.fucking.sorry.
that she's gone.
I would bring your knife to my own goddamn wrists
to bring Jules back for one. fucking. second.

And I know. I know.
I can't fix this Melly.
But I PROMISE you this.
I will bring my tent and a bottle of Bourbon.
Some charlie parker and otis redding
to Nancy Fucking Kentucky
and we will lay on top of jules.
and will sleep.
and we will toast.
and we will sing like shit with voices
clogged from crying.
And we. will. love.
with the MADDEST of all loves.
AND.
WE.
WILL.
REMEMBER.

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