my dancing girls
2004-03-29, 8:00 p.m.
she hides, peering through the blinds with increasing reluctancy... they're growing like stones... words too cumbersome to fit through my teeth... 2 cm adnexal mass, not indicative of ovarian cyst. then what the fuck is it indicative of, mr. md? increasing density of contrast throughout uterine area, probable myomial involvement. 3 - 4 cm lymphadenopathy to right groin area perhaps they are simply little girls dancing about throughout my reproductive anatomy, dancing down my right thigh... perhaps they're growing larger, reaching for each other... just in time for high tea. All they want is to dance... and sing... ring around the rosie areas of my uterus... they don't want to be sliced out and tossed into silver bowls... they don't want to be attacked with Carboplatin, Cisplatin, or Cytoxan... They don't want to be cancer... do they? I didn't mean to hide... I was just simply... enamored, I suppose... with the little girls growing like stones... waiting to be invited to tea.
and it's funny really... the foreshadowing i created with the page change... the blood... and the sheets... legs splayed wide... this wasn't what i meant... this wasn't the story i was trying to tell... funny... how we foreshadow... without the knowledge of what we are trying to create. to become.
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